EP. 31 Parenting Wins That Add Up

EP. 31 Parenting Wins That Add Up

Braxston and special guest Natalie his wife share the wins and misses shaping their home right now. From rebuilding after injury to the cotton candy choice that wrecked a night’s sleep and how fixed family rhythms, cleaner food, and simple faith practices steady the chaos. Honest talk on marriage, phone habits, and choosing progress over perfection.

• life update and injury recovery mindset
• communication shifts that open two-way dialogue
• date night and Friday family night as anchors
• nutrition choices, food dyes, and kid behavior
• parenting three different kids with tailored support
• school switch decisions and permission to pivot
• faith routines, journaling, and action after prayer
• excitement for spring, sports, and travel
• guidance for couples balancing work and family

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Transcript

Welcome And Life Update

SPEAKER_03 0:00

I think it was an instance of that of you being so tied up in the daily routine and the way we do things that you wanted a moment of like, I'm the fun mom. Like, let's have fun. Um, let's do something outside the norm. And I go and I think of cotton candy at Monster Jam.

SPEAKER_01 0:22

Okay, I messed up. I messed up. Tell people the story. Okay, so I think we've touched on this a little bit before, but we have done a lot of research over the last few years into nutrition, the ingredients that are in the foods that we eat, the sore-bought foods processed, all the things. So we we avoid all artificial dyes for ourselves, for our kids. Um, obviously we're mostly gluten-free. Ace is completely gluten-free. Um we're just super educated on it now. And so we eat as many like real whole foods as possible. So that being said, we went to Monster Jam with the kids, which we take them, we've taken them every year.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

This was our fourth time, I believe.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Um, and it was time to get snacks, and I got the healthiest options I could find. Um, some friends that we were with um got a giant bag of cotton candy. And I'm like, okay, this is just, it's it's a special occasion. The kids were begging for it, but first of all, they had no idea what it was. So I was like, okay, you guys can each have a tiny little piece. And I could feel your eyes burning a hole in the side of my head.

SPEAKER_03 2:00

But brought along special guests that you'll get to hear from again. My wife, Natalie, is here today.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

Hello.

SPEAKER_03 2:08

Um, we you know, Nick, Nick decided, you know, he's he loves doing these little one-on-one. He's I call them one-on-one, but one in himself, trips to uh get away and have some time to debrief and probably do some creative work. So Nick's Nick's off doing that, and we love that for him. Uh, he's been sick this week, which Nick never gets sick, um, but he's starting to feel better, and he's he's taken off to do his trip, and uh we'll get him back here on the podcast next week. But just wanted to bring Natalie in and catch up on all things life and parenting and marriage, and and I think the ladies that listen to the podcast enjoy getting your uh point of view and and Chelsea when she's on here. So figure we'd just dive in. I have lots of questions for you.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

So I'm ready to answer them.

SPEAKER_03 3:09

We'll get through them.

Injury Recovery And Mindset Shift

SPEAKER_03 3:10

Um well, just let's just start off with life lately. Where where you at? What's going on? What's new? Last time we we talked, you were dealing with your back injury.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

I was um healed, healing from that. Um, things have been a lot better. I'm back in the gym, feeling good. I can kind of I can make it through my days without extreme pain. Um, that was a very difficult season for sure. I would say for a good two months, it was like the mental battle was almost harder than the physical um difficulties of all that. Um, but we're on the other side of it, feeling good. Um, yeah, just getting back to it.

SPEAKER_03 3:50

What do you feel like you learned most through that season of dealing with an injury and getting back into it? And it was lots of pep talks from Nick because you didn't want to hear them from me.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

Yes. Nick, um, Nick, Nick played a huge role in in the mental state that I was in. Um, he basically told me to stop feeling sorry for myself and that if I don't continue moving my body, I'm never gonna heal from that injury in the nicest Nick way possible. Um, but he, you know what, he listened to me and he watched me cry and all the things, and he was there and offered some great advice and um offered to help, you know, gave me very specific things that I should be doing to kind of help my like my recovery along and get back into the gym and that kind of thing. So big shout out to Nick for saying everything that you could say to me, but in not a husband way.

SPEAKER_03 4:51

It's like parenting when when your kids hear it from you, they don't want to hear it, but they hear it from a friend or someone, they they hear it different. Yeah, I think one one of my biggest takeaways through that season was you know, Nick's Nick's feedback and comments on you know, people so easily fall into the trap of like I can't do anything. And you know, we talked about this in the last podcast episode about how blisters will defeat people before the actual difficulty of climbing the mountain. And you know, there's I think there's different degrees of what how bad a blister is. Um, but it was cool to see once once you were able to wrap your mind around you know that mindset and that shift of just being able to do one thing, whatever it was, and then you're like, oh, that wasn't too bad, and then you added something else. So that wasn't, and you just you continually went through that progression, and it was cool to see like you celebrate those wins and how excited you got through those. And um, but yeah, it was definitely a challenging time for you personally, but also I think in our marriage, because we would just felt out of sync. We we get in these routines and being able to work out and let out those that aggression or frustration and not having that outlet plays a huge role.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

Well, and it's it's the small amount of me time that I get in a day. So um anyone who's a mom and is constantly needed basically 24 hours a day, um, they can understand that you know everybody has a different outlet. But for me over the last two years, that has truly become mine. So when I didn't have that and I wasn't getting away to the gym, I felt like I didn't have a way to be alone in that. So that was tough. But going back to what you said about Nick telling me to focus on what I can do, I remember when we sat in their living room that one night after dinner, and he gave me my whole the whole pep talk on like basically getting over myself. And it's I've like rested enough and now it's time to get back to it. Um he said, You I need to stop focusing on what I can't do because we would go through things and I'm like, I can't do that. I'm afraid to do that. I think that if I do that again, it's gonna put me right back to where I was six weeks ago. And he goes, Okay, maybe you can't go and do 20 burpees. What can you do right now? Tomorrow morning, you can get up and you can go walk on the treadmill for 10 minutes, and maybe it's only 10 minutes and you walk slow, but you can do that. So I remember I went to the gym the next day, and I think it was the first time I had been to the new gym by myself. Um, and I got on and I walked for two miles, and I was so excited to like text our little group, and I'm like, I can, what can I do today? I can get up and walk two miles and foam roll. And I did, and I was it kind of just progressed from there. So Yeah. It's good.

SPEAKER_03 7:59

You know, in other in other news of catch up, we were able to get away for a couple days, get um, get out of the perma cloud in the cold weather. Catch up.

SPEAKER_01 8:10

Fantastic. I got a sunburn.

SPEAKER_03 8:11

You got a sunburn.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

I don't recommend it, but also it felt great. I just felt my vitamin D levels kind of creeping back up to normal. It was good. We um it was kind of a last minute trip. My mom was in town the week prior. Um, and two days after she left, we hopped on a plane and um went down to visit um our friends from college and their kids. Um, we got some sunshine, we ate some good food, we got to go, I got went to my first NHL game, which was really cool. I think the the coolest part about it was, you know, you I think we're very fortunate to have some like different friends in our lives from so many different walks of life. But these friends, they have we've known them like since senior year of high school, through college, we were in each other's weddings, our kids are of similar ages or the exact same ages, I should say. Uh, and you know, into adulthood. And so they've we've been together through all walks of life. And I think it's just there's something really refreshing about spending real intentional time with people who have known every version of you. Um, and so I'm just I feel like I'm coming back refreshed from just the comfort and the love that we have

Marriage Communication Wins And Friction

SPEAKER_01 9:30

for each other.

SPEAKER_03 9:31

It was weird being visiting them with their kids and not having our kids.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

It did. I missed them more, I think. I think that if we had been in a hotel without like not being around anybody's kids, I would have been okay. Um, but I just I kept like looking around the corner thinking, oh, I should probably think about lunch for the kids and didn't have to do that.

SPEAKER_03 9:52

But yeah, they were excited when we came home uh a little disappointed we didn't bring them back gifts. I mean I I probably ruined them.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

My dad never brought me gifts when he traveled, and he traveled all the time.

SPEAKER_03 10:07

So let's jump into some marriage stuff.

SPEAKER_01 10:10

Cool.

SPEAKER_03 10:11

So I guess I'll I'm gonna I'm asking questions to you to kind of critique me in some of these. Some good, some some maybe more critical, but um, you know, I guess my first question would be in what's one way that I've grown recently in your eyes?

SPEAKER_01 10:32

Related to marriage?

SPEAKER_03 10:34

Anything.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

I think that we have our conversations recently have like our communication skills have grown a lot for both of us. Um you know, I I feel like oftentimes in the past, I I would talk to you and not get a whole lot of response back, or it would be, you know, like a quick few words, not a ton of emotion coming back from you. Um and I really think that you've like there's been a change in that for you. Um, really like sharing your thoughts and your feelings, and um it makes it feel definitely like a two-way conversation instead of me having all these feelings and you just kind of being like, well, that's just life. So I think I think really like letting down your guard in that in that sense has been um a huge area of growth for you recently.

SPEAKER_03 11:34

And on the flip side, what would you say is still something that's very frustrating for you?

SPEAKER_01 11:39

Your addiction to your phone. A hundred percent, without question. I mean, truly, it's we have had lots of conversations about it. You are aware of it, which is why I can so easily say that. Um it's you know, whether you're it's work or social media or texting, catching up on your group text, whatever it is. Um, you know, we I for those that don't know, I am the driver in our marriage. I like to drive because I get car sick. So whether it's just him and I or us with the kids, like he gets in the passenger seat and immediately pulls out his phone and is like glued to whatever he might be looking at. And the kids are in the back seat going, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, and he can't hear it or chooses not to hear it, maybe. But um, that would be at least you can admit that it's a problem now, whereas before you would just kind of roll your eyes at me. Um, so we can do better.

SPEAKER_03 12:41

Yeah. She's turned me into a passenger princess. So I mean okay.

SPEAKER_01 12:47

So let me flip that back at you.

SPEAKER_03 12:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

I want to know what still frustrates what I do that still frustrates you, and one area that I've grown in.

SPEAKER_03 12:57

I think the biggest area you've grown in is um looking at I think from the training perspective, like the getting through the season of injury. Um you are very set in your ways of training modality, and you've completely flipped that, and you're you know, trying a new gym and a totally different style and method of training, um, which I think you've grown to enjoy. Um so I think there's there's been significant growth in that and just being open to what that can look like and kind of figuring it out on your own versus like having a a set training session where you're you go in, you're told exactly what to do and when to do it, and now you're figuring that out for yourself. Obviously, with an outline and a plan, but it's different when you don't have someone right there with you from a frustration standpoint. I I mean there's not many things you do that frustrate me. I think like specifically like straight frustration towards you. It's it's I get frustrated because you and I are so different, and you're I mean it's it's a good yin and yin a push and a pull of you are very good at living in the now and enjoying the moment of now, whereas I'm constantly looking ahead to the next thing, and I think that good or bad causes frustration. Um which we talk through. It's not like it's this is the first time you're hearing that. Um but it's I think it's a lot of it's the season we're in. Uh we're having a lot of you know futuristic conversations and and there's just a lot to that, and you know, you think I think big picture and you think more logistically and um which again it's a good yin and yang and I think you have to have both of that, but coming to a conclusion I think creates frustration.

SPEAKER_02 15:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 15:15

So where where in our marriage do you feel most supported by me?

SPEAKER_01 15:26

I mean I I think you're supportive in in everything. Truly. Like there's I I could tell you I wanted to bring home a puppy tomorrow, and you'd be like, ugh, I don't know, but if that's what you want to do, let's do it. Um I I truly I don't know how to answer that because I I would never I don't have anything to say that you would be unsupportive of in my life. Um I think that you are my biggest cheerleader. Um I don't really know how to answer that.

SPEAKER_03 16:08

Yeah, I mean it's it's like there's probably good and bad to that too. Um I think that just comes with my personality. You know, Natalie talked earlier about um we would have conversations in the past and I didn't have a whole lot of feedback in those conversations because there's there's just really not a lot of things in life that I

Family Rituals: Date Night And Fridays

SPEAKER_03 16:30

truly care about. So when you know Natalie's like, hey, what do you think about this? I'm like, cool. Like next thing, like next problem. Um and I think part of that is just the way I'm wired and and then also like professionally, you know, I'm I am paid for a living to solve problems. And so when things are brought up, it's like, you know, how fast can I solve this and move on? And probably not a great recipe for marriage and communication, but I think I've been more intentional of that lately, of being able to talk through that. And um, you know, I always want to be able to support you and the kids and and all the the things of life that throws at us. It's um probably the biggest challenge that I would say I don't think there is a lack of support because that was gonna be my next question of like where do you feel least supported? Where would you want more support? It's it's a constant battle of time management. Um you know, wanting to do everything to grow a business, um be at the kids' games, do our date nights, you know, do all the things, you know, the Harvey Specter model, right? I life's like this, I like this. Um that's truly the way I feel about everything. And but being able to manage that and wrap that into 24 hours has always been a challenge.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

So which I think goes back to I that I do a good job of living in like the here and now and what's right in front of us, um, while having while having a focus on the future, but also just not missing what's right in front of you, which I feel like we've had that conversation several times recently.

SPEAKER_03 18:24

But yeah, you're you're always good at reminding me of you know, I know you're not satisfied, but look how far we've come. Which I think is again, that's one of those where I'm like, I let that go by really quickly and it's on to the next thing. Whereas you're much better at enjoying and preserving those moments. Looking at, you know, our beyond marriage and into more like the family dynamics and parenting, uh you know, we're we've been in a an interesting season with our kids, especially Copeland. Um, just working through some of the things with him, health related, uh, making sure that he's um getting all the attention that he needs to um what we can we can get a little bit deeper into this um with his we've been doing some studies and some work with uh his sleep and dental work and just getting him in the best place possible for rest and recovery. And but what we'll get into that in a second, but what what feels hardest about parenting right now to you?

SPEAKER_01 19:42

I think as the kids are getting older is remembering that we have three very different kids with different personalities who need different things from us. Um, you know, I feel like when at a certain age as toddlers and babies, you can kind of treat them all the same in a sense. Um but now, you know, we have a nine-year-old daughter who is very emotional and opinionated now. And she her ability to con like grasp different concepts um has been kind of shocking lately. Like you don't think she's necessarily listening, and she is, and she wants to understand the the meaning behind certain things. Um and so it's like learning to like help her grow in that, but also keep her young at the same time. Um, you know, and Copeland's personality is different than Ace's personality personality. Like, yes, they're both boys and they're only two years apart, but they're still very different kids. Um, and so it's just it's learning to meet them where they're at um individually and

The Cotton Candy Lesson

SPEAKER_01 21:00

still, you know, teach them our family values and that kind of thing, but in a way that each of them will benefit from.

SPEAKER_03 21:10

So for those that don't know, when it comes to marriage parenting, two like staples that we have that we try to follow very, very strictly is that Thursdays are our standing date night. And then Fridays, which we just started this this year. 2026, yeah. Uh Fridays are what are what we tell the kids if we call them Friday Family Fun Night.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

We have to stop with the fun night because we just need to call them family nights because we started saying family fun night, and they think that we need to go and do crazy experiences every single Friday, which it's not necessarily about that. We just wanted to give them something to look forward to every single week that they could, you know, the goal would be in twenty years. ish when they're raising their own kids to be like, okay, I remember in my childhood. Like every Friday night we spent it as a family. So you know whether that's I mean we've done pretty much we've done like pizza night on Fridays and then a movie sometimes we get competitive and play Mario Kart with the kids. Um or we've gone out and done a couple of different experiences, but just something that like they can look forward to that they know at the end of the week we get to spend the night as a family.

SPEAKER_03 22:32

And you want to tell them about the fit Avi threw last week when she knew we weren't going to be here for Friday.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

I mean, well we were gone two Fridays in a row, which we've done a really good job of protecting our family Fridays. But two weeks ago we actually had Chelsea's 40th birthday party. So um that was on a Friday night. Luckily my mom was here um in town which help was helpful because they like to spend time with her when she's here. And then last Friday we were on a flight to Florida. So it she was super upset about that.

SPEAKER_03 23:10

But yeah I think her words were what is going on?

SPEAKER_01 23:14

Yeah we're supposed to have things you know you think about think about for the last what was it seven weeks like seven Fridays it it only took that long for her to know that Friday nights are family nights and that's what to expect and it's not it's not supposed to change because that was the whole goal of right of doing that.

SPEAKER_03 23:34

It's like we set we set the standard and expectation and then when it didn't happen she was like what is going on?

SPEAKER_01 23:42

Rightfully so yeah. What's been your favorite moment lately with the kids I I really think our our family Fridays I think it's just been fun. Um you know it's it's spending the intentional time together. It's putting our phones down. Uh even if we're sitting on the couch watching a movie with the kids I've like put my phone up on a shelf in the kitchen so that it's I don't even have the opportunity to grab it and scroll while they're watching something. They're funny they are like so silly. Last night you sat there and threw sensory like squishy balls at them and they made up their own baseball game out of it. And I think it's been fun to just see how imaginative they are uh how much fun they have together. Like they're not constantly asking for friends to come over. They truly enjoy their time together as friends and siblings. And I think that that's really cool because we've been trying to nurture that relationship into the future so that they stay close forever and never leave us.

SPEAKER_03 24:55

Never leave us what um this was probably my favorite question from this section to hear your response to this one but when it comes to family slash parenting where do we see things differently I can think of one one thing stands out to me.

SPEAKER_01 25:20

Okay you go first.

SPEAKER_03 25:22

So the I think in most families the dynamic between mom and dad is like one is the disciplinarian or one is the fun parent or one is you know I think it ultimately defaults to mom being more like the rigid because you're with them more and like this is our routine this is what we do and then dad comes home and chaos breaks out and we have fun and whatever. But I can think of I think it was an instance of that of you being so tied up in the daily routine and the way we do things that you wanted a moment of like I'm the fun mom like let's have fun. Let's do something outside the norm. And I go and I think of cotton candy at Monster Jam.

SPEAKER_01 26:15

Okay I messed up I messed up tell people the story. Okay so I think we've touched on this a little bit before but we have done a lot of research over the last few years into nutrition the ingredients that are in the foods that we eat store bought foods processed all the things so we we avoid all artificial dyes for ourselves for our kids um obviously we're mostly gluten free Ace is completely gluten free um we're just super educated on it now and so we eat as many like real whole foods as possible. So that being said we went to Monster Jam with the kids which we take them we've taken them every year. This was our fourth time I believe um and it was time to get snacks and I got the healthiest options I could find. Some friends that we were with um got a giant bag of cotton candy and I'm like okay this is just it's it's a special occasion. The kids were begging for it first of all they had no idea what it was. So um I was like okay you guys can each have a tiny little piece and I could feel your eyes burning a hole in the side of my head. You're like they don't need that

Food Dyes, Behavior, And Family Nutrition

SPEAKER_01 27:30

what are you doing? We don't have to do that just because someone else is eating it and I'm like I get it but like it's a special occasion whatever that night we're all in sleeping in the same hotel room and Asa was up for two and a half hours inconsolable throwing a fit would not sleep and we're passing each other in this hotel room and trying like each of us is trying to get him to chill and go back to sleep. And I could just I could feel you you didn't even have to say it. And I don't even think we talked about it the next day. I think it took probably a good week for us to even like like throw out a joke about it because it's like okay is are we still mad about this or are we moving past it? But I'm like I knew you were just thinking I told you so you shouldn't have given it to them because it has all the dyes in it possible. And it's just but it it was eye opening truly like to to show that we are making the right decisions for our kids. And you only know what you know. So somebody's decision for their family is different from ours and that's fine.

SPEAKER_03 28:33

But we have been without it for so long I think it really you can really see the effects when it when I and I think I mean we could probably do an entire episode just on nutrition and you know what we do as a family and with our kids and it's a hard topic because I think a lot of people look at us as like extremely rigid when it comes to nutrition with our kids and the way we we eat not perfect but um what's interesting is you know so many times you know I'm not a doctor or any anything a researcher I am uh my own researcher but when you look at a lot of the issues that that kids deal with today when it comes to behavior so much of it correlates back to the foods that they're eating and what we have noticed through this process of research and experimenting is when our kids have those foods they are different kids. And you know the ASA is just the most recent example of that but even you know we like to take the kids out for ice cream like we we stay pretty vanilla when it comes to ice cream like yeah enjoy the treat but we're not doing Superman and all these crazy colors and stuff because there's there's a couple things one we see they just their mind goes nuts and two like you look in their stool and their stool is the color of the ice cream you're like well this isn't normal right um so I think that's always been a that's a big one for us and I think once you're clear from those things for a period of time when you reintroduce them it shows even more significantly because I think if people just consume those types of foods over and over and over again their body becomes accustomed to it and like yeah there's behavioral but it probably becomes the norm. And um you know to each their own but we've we've chosen to do the best we can make the best decisions we can for our kids and hopefully when they're able to make those decisions on their own what we've taught them sticks. The other the other piece to this you know because I've caught flack for a long time from from people on this are like we grew up eating those foods and we turned out okay. They're not the same and that's I think that's the biggest thing like yeah they weren't great then either but but big food has changed dramatically since we were kids. I mean look at everything from McDonald's to any other processed or fast food like the ingredient list went from you know four or five to twenty five yeah and it's just not it's not the same so I can't it's a it's an argument I will have with anyone.

SPEAKER_01 31:38

Yep. Um but there's also way more resources out there now to be able to educate yourself on those things than there were in the past. Like it's way more easily accessible than it was when our parents were raising us. So that's why I say you do what the best you can with what you know.

SPEAKER_03 31:56

It was interesting to hear you say I I hadn't looked at it like this before but you were having a conversation just recently on um you know we're we're so in tune with this and it's just part of our life and daily research and you know part of our algorithms on social media and you know there's people you come across who you're like they they just don't know. And that was that was eye-opening to me because in you know in our circle of people that we run with like everyone's pretty educated on you know the nutrition side of things and everyone eats pretty fairly similar and and then you come across you know someone who doesn't pay attention to that and you're like oh like they just don't they just don't know. I I just kind of assumed because it's it is in our daily life I assumed that everybody just kind of knew and made the same choices and you walk into a room where that's not the case and it's like wow okay I do know some different things but switching topics let's talk personal growth and where you're headed at where you're headed and where your head's at right now my my first question for you is where do you feel like you're growing the most right now um I mean my faith is the first thing that jumps out at me um the last couple days coming off of traveling has been a little bit different but I have made a real conscious effort to spend daily time in prayer and devotion um and really just reading the Bible for what it is.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

I've been I'm one of those people that if I wait until my head hits the pillow at night to to pray, then I start praying and the next thing I know it's six o'clock in the morning and I'm like, oh amen. Sorry about that. But so I have been good about waking up in the mornings. I do have a quick like daily devotional read my Bible and then I will journal my prayers so um

Parenting Choices And School Switch

SPEAKER_01 34:00

I can see it's like something tangible in front of me that I can even refer back to and see like what I was going through at a certain time in life and see how you know God has answered certain prayers and uh see where I'm maybe leaning on him now that I was leaning on him a year ago. So it's um I think that that's really leaning in on what God has for me, the direction of my life um I've tried to remember like I'm not doing this alone. There is a bigger plan.

SPEAKER_03 34:36

I think one of the coolest things was while while we were visiting our friends we were there on a Sunday morning and we were like hey let's let's find a church to go to and we were gonna go to one and we got up and we were getting around and we're like we I think by the time we get there we don't want to walk in late so we picked a different one and it was totally a God thing of like exactly where we were supposed to be the message we were supposed to hear um it was incredible. It was really good I think one of my biggest takeaways from that from that sermon was how when he told the story the pastor tells a story of he's a he's a horrible golfer. He's like I've had lessons and I've done all these things and he's like I'm just a bad golfer but he was invited to play a round of golf at Pebble Beach which is one of the top courses in America and he gets out there and he's got a caddy for the first time he's like I I had never had a caddy before and his caddy asked him you know hey how much help do you want me to give you how like tips he's like I want I want all of it and he's like so I I get up there he watches me the first couple holes and he's like do this try this try that try this and by the fourth hole he's like I just asked him will you just play for me and it was and obviously his answer was no and he related it back to you know how you know no matter how many tips you get in life or how much help like someone else can't swing the club for you. And he related that back to with God like God can we can read scripture and we can hear from God and we can pray and and all these things but God can't take the action for us and it was just an amazing moment of like it was an eye-opening moment for me to put it in that perspective.

SPEAKER_01 36:41

I mean he gives you he gives you advice he can give you all the tools you need he can open the doors for you but he can't physically take your foot and walk through that door um which I kind of wish I kind of wish he could sometimes but I totally agree that was an incredible message. I want to go back and listen to it but I told um I think I my mom that I was like if it was almost like the pastor like sat down and had a cup of coffee with God before we walked in that church and he was like tell me what Brexton and Natalie need to hear and I will tell it to them and it was like oh we're in the right place right place right time like it was it was really good.

SPEAKER_03 37:22

Yeah I mean it was like our pastor here locally you know he always challenges us on you know where where have you seen God lately you know to actually to like train your mind to see these moments where God is showing up for you and and for us to go from we were going to go to one church to go ended up going to another one to you know this church that we went to is it was a satellite location I think they have eight eight different locations and it just so happened that that day the the founding lead pastor was at this location and delivered this message. And we walked out of there and looked at each other and you're like I don't want to say like what what are the what a coincidence or what are the chances because it wasn't that it was look what God just did. Yep. So that was a really cool moment.

SPEAKER_01 38:19

Is there anywhere in your life right now that you feel stuck I'm I kind of feel like I'm moving forward in a lot of areas um in life and parenting and our marriage I think that we've we've had some tremendous growth in those areas over the last few months. I think just it as far as parenting is concerned it's it's making sure that I'm making the best decisions for the kids. You know and nobody's gonna be perfect at that and you're gonna make mistakes and hopefully they're not gonna be mistakes that affect them for the rest of their lives. But of course that's where my mind goes at certain times. But it's just you know as far as it's schooling, it's activities, it's the way I speak to them, you know, just the way I try to foster their relationship with each other and um you know try to be their friend but also their mom first since we've sat down and done this together, we have moved Asa, our youngest from the preschool that he was at starting in the fall back to his old school. And that was that was really tough for me for a while trying, you know, just deciding if it was going to be the right decision for him. Is it okay to move mid-year? You know, should I just stick it out? But I just kept feeling feeling a pull to get him back in his old school. And the school that he was in was wonderful. That's where um Avi and Cope both go to elementary school. It's a great program. The teachers are incredible but there are just different opportunities at the one that he moved back to that that was our only experience with a preschool before um there's intergener intergenerational learning excuse me um it's the it's the the child led play learning kind of school they're outside they're getting muddy they're dirty all the time um and it's I just missed that

Faith Practices And The Pebble Beach Metaphor

SPEAKER_01 40:30

aspect of it. So but all that to say I feel like I agonized over that for what three months I was I made up my mind that I was gonna switch him and then I I was gonna stay back where he was at and then it was just a constant back and forth. So I just wanted to make sure that that was the best decision for him. So it's a a constant mental battle of just being the best parent I can be.

SPEAKER_03 41:00

Yeah. And I think that goes with like so so many different seasons of life or as things come across our plate it's like ultimately the question I asked you that I think solidified the move back was you know if you don't move him back are you always going to have the thought in your mind of like what if I would have or should I have done that? And you you just don't know until you do it. And you like you can always pivot. And you know I look at that in many of the things we're going through in life right now it's like it's hard it's never easy there's so many question marks and you never know if you're doing the right thing and I think it's like regardless it's as long as you and I stay together and our you know we wrap our arms around our kids like it'll work either way. And then it's on you and I to if we try something and it doesn't work we pivot and we can always do some different things. So that's the way I choose to kind of look at things there's there's not very many things in life that you make a decision and it's permanent. So or so catastrophic that it's gonna change everything. So that's the way that I try to go about life and think about things but some of those decisions are definitely way more difficult and time consuming than others. So you're smiling at me it's just life babe um what about I got two more questions for you.

SPEAKER_01 42:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 42:47

What are you most excited about in this season?

SPEAKER_01 42:54

Like I'm looking forward to spring break we are looking for the sun coming back out for once coming back out yes we haven't seen the sun since we took off out of the Tampa airport uh on Monday but I think I'm looking forward to just traveling with the kids and we're officially less than one month out. Uh we're going back to one of our favorite places and I think it's gonna be a completely different vacation than it was last year just with the ages that the kids are in now. I I I relate like our spring break last year, we just had the best time. I think about it all the time we just truly enjoyed our time together and made great memories and the just laughing with the kids and I'm excited. I'm looking forward to that. What about you?

SPEAKER_03 43:49

Yeah it's like you don't want to you never want to wish time away but it becomes it gets more and more fun as they get older and just they can They can do more things and they actually recognize the things that we're doing and they have fun in them. And so yeah, I think each year, you know, the more memories we make and they remember, you know, they remember every single thing we did last year on spring break. Asa, maybe not as much, but I think this will be the year where he start that those things start to click. Um me, I mean, probably the same. I mean, the the weather has been awful here.

SPEAKER_02 44:29

The forever winter.

SPEAKER_03 44:31

It's been a horrible winter. Um, and even now it's not snowing, but it's raining and gray. It's like even I think we've talked about this a million times. It's like I'll take the snow and the cold if the sun would just shine. There's people are like, oh, that's stupid. And like, there's really something to that. Um, I think it affects both of us and just how we go about our days and and our energy, and and so I'm I'm ready for the the change of weather and cope and Asa getting into baseball and coaching their team and and working with them on that. Um there's a new um sports complex that just went up here um not too far from our home where Cope has been begging to get into the batting cages and for us to be able to get in there and play until you know his season starts to fire up. So I'm really looking forward to that. And and finishing, I got um Sahel Bloom's new book that came out not too long ago. I've been going through that, and um it's been a really good read and has got me thinking about some different things. So that's probably what I'm most excited about. My last question for you is what's one thing you would tell other couples who are going through our same season?

SPEAKER_01 45:56

Um, that your marriage is the most important thing. Um, I think that it's and I think we've talked about this before, but it is so easy to get caught up in just the daily routine and parenting and obviously wanting to do your best at raising your kids that it's easy to just be two ships passing in the night. It's like so cliche, but it's very true. There are days where I think just even just this morning, like you came upstairs when I was trying to get the kids going with breakfast and ready for school. You came upstairs from your workout and I was like, Hey, good morning. And it was just a very quick like good morning, and then moved moving on to the next thing. And I like walked in the pantry a few minutes later, I'm like, Hi, how are you? How'd you sleep? Like, let's let's talk to each other before the day starts, and and we just make it to bedtime, and then we're both tired after the kids go to bed, and then it's the next day and we start all over. So I think

Excited For Spring, Sports, And Travel

SPEAKER_01 47:00

that the more intentional that you can be in your marriage and communicating and truly spending time together and realizing that you're a team, you're not working against each other, is is the most important thing because at the end of the at minimum 18 years when your youngest turns 18, like it your house is gonna be empty and it is just gonna be you and your spouse. And you don't want to look at that person at the end of all those years and be like, I I mean, I forget who you are. I don't really know you. I don't ever want that to be our story. And I think that we do a really good job of of teaching our kids and reminding ourselves that we are the most important when when we're healthy, then the rest of the family can be healthy.

SPEAKER_03 47:47

So yeah, I think for me, my my biggest advice, and and it's probably suited more towards men, is you know, I I talked about this on the podcasts I don't know how many episodes ago, but to be you can't you can't go through this season focused on just work or just family. Like a real man does both. And I think so many people our age get caught up in the you know the business side of things and climbing the ladder and you know growing a business to where they forget about everything you you just said, being connected with your spouse and being at your kids' baseball games and dances and recitals and all this, all like if you're missing those things, you're missing everything. And I would say that would that would be my biggest piece of advice or challenge that I would give is that if you want to be the man of your house, like you have to do both, and you have to figure out how to do both. Because you also like you have to you have to go out and and earn for the family too. So you can't pour 100% of your attention into just being a great dad or a great husband because you gotta provide as well.

SPEAKER_01 49:16

And you do you do a great job of that, truly. Like, you know, I tell you all the time how proud I proud of you I am for being a provider and working so hard and then coming home and being present with the kids. Um you know, we were we were just having a conversation a couple weeks ago with someone and he was telling us about a friend, a very successful friend that he has, um, you know, in the in the hedge fund world, I think. Um and you know, he has more money than he knows what to do with. But our the person that we were having this conversation with, he's like, I'll joke sometimes and text him and remind him of what his kids' names are because he's never home and he's traveling all the time and he spends more time working and and grinding to provide financially for them that like he misses all the little things at home. And you know, I'm I can confidently say like that that's not the case for you. You you do everything you can to be present with your kids and not miss the games. And I feel really lucky to have you as the father of my kids and like my partner in life in that aspect because because you really want to be around. It's not something that you you don't roll your eyes and be like, well, the wife wants me to do this, go to this birthday party. Like, you know, you wake up on the weekends, you're like, it's Saturday, what are we gonna do together as a family? And do we, are we, we're going to this birthday party together, right? And you know, I just you really like you like to be around me. I like that.

SPEAKER_03 50:48

I I think my challenge is is probably the opposite of everything that you just went through. And it's always trying to maximize and get more out of all of it, to where that's that's probably the piece that drives me the most crazy of that constant feeling of like I could be a better dad. I could be around more, I could be more better for Natalie, like I could do more in my job, I could do this, I could do that. I mean, it and that's where I that's probably one of the biggest pieces where I don't wouldn't say we argue because we don't argue, but I think that's probably the biggest source of contention between us of like me always wanting more, whatever

Advice For Couples In The Trenches

SPEAKER_03 51:30

more is. I think that's very undefined. And again, being present in the moment with what we have. So I think that's the season we're in. That's our best advice we can give you, and an update on all things going with the cave crew.

unknown 51:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:50

So much more that we didn't even get into.

SPEAKER_03 51:53

But I know we'll have to um we'll have to get an episode here with back with the four of us again. I think that was it's always fun to do a round table um and get you and Chelsea's opinion on on things.

SPEAKER_01 52:06

But we can debrief after we vacation together for the first time.

SPEAKER_03 52:10

That's true. We can with our families. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 52:12

Because we are all staying in a house together. So that will be a new adventure.

SPEAKER_03 52:19

Yep. Awesome. Well, thanks for listening, everyone. Uh appreciate you tuning in. Like, subscribe, um, comment, reach out to us on all the different social platforms. Uh Jake's been doing an awesome job of getting more and more content out there. We're we are trying and dabbling with all different kinds of methods here with our our cameras and our lighting. And you know, we're taking steps, you know, each week and and improving that. So any feedback you got or topics that you'd like to hear us go through, reach out and let us know, and we'll talk to you all soon. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 52:59

See ya.